by Nadine Inkster
Registered Clinical Counsellor
When a child is born, and sometimes even before, one of the first questions asked is: “What is it? A boy or a girl?” In many Western cultures, this moment shapes expectations about identity and behavior. Traditionally, gender has been viewed in a binary way—man or woman.
However, many cultures around the world have long recognized that gender exists beyond this binary. In fact, Western views are only now beginning to confront how rigid definitions erased the diverse and complex ways gender has always been understood across societies.
Gender Identity: More Than Biology
In Western societies, gender is typically assigned at birth based on anatomy. A person whose gender identity matches this assigned sex is considered cisgender. People whose identity does not align with their assigned sex may identify as transgender or nonbinary.
Gender identity refers to how someone experiences and expresses themselves socially. It is shaped by cultural expectations, role models, and personal sense of self. While biology may influence gender, expression is deeply tied to social and cultural contexts.
It is also important to clarify that gender is not the same as sexuality. Gender relates to identity, while sexual orientation refers to attraction and intimacy.
Rethinking the Gender Binary
In recent years, gender has become a topic of conversation among parents, policymakers, and professionals. The gender binary assumes that children will grow into one of two categories: male or female.
Historically, the word “transgender” was used only for those who transitioned from one binary category to another. Today, definitions have expanded. Many people identify outside this simplistic model.
For example, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) describes transgender and gender diverse (TGD) people as those whose gender identities differ from the sex assigned at birth. WPATH emphasizes that gender is a spectrum and includes identities such as genderqueer, genderfluid, and nonbinary.
TGD Communities
The term TGD is widely used, but many people prefer other self-descriptions such as genderqueer, bigender, agender, Two-Spirited, or gender non-conforming. Language evolves, and individuals may choose more than one label to reflect their lived experience.
Labels can be empowering, yet they are deeply personal. What feels affirming to one person may feel restrictive to another. As a result, it is important to avoid assumptions and instead listen to how people describe themselves.
In addition, marginalized communities often reclaim words that were once used as slurs. This process reshapes language into something empowering, turning what was once harmful into a source of pride.
Gender and Mental Health
Not everyone whose gender differs from their assigned sex experiences distress. While some people feel dysphoria, many do not. This is why the term gender incongruent is often preferred—it removes the assumption that difference equals distress.
Evidence shows that gender is multidimensional. For example, over 35% of cisgender adults report feeling “to some extent, like the ‘other’ gender.” This statistic reminds us that gender diversity touches everyone.
When we challenge cisnormative values, we create space for people to explore their identities without judgment. As a result, stigma decreases, acceptance grows, and society becomes more compassionate and inclusive.
Final Thoughts
Understanding gender requires us to move beyond rigid binaries and listen to the lived experiences of diverse communities. Gender is not fixed—it is fluid, cultural, personal, and evolving. By recognizing this, we allow for more authentic expression and a society where everyone feels seen and valued.
Excerpt from Nadine Inkster’s Capstone Project – Raising Awareness, Building Acceptance: Educating Parents on Gender Diversity
By Nadine Inkster, M.Couns., RCC., (She/Her)
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