We live in an age where digital connections often outnumber face-to-face interactions, and it’s not about to get better. Our kids have grown up not talking to each other face-to-face but instead via their phones. And soon they won’t be talking to other human beings, they’ll be taking to AIs.

Such technological advancements are in some ways very exciting. In other ways they are scary as hell. What happens in a world in which people have an AI as a best friend, and haven’t met the people they most interact with?

Loneliness has silently morphed into a pervasive epidemic, casting a long shadow over both mental and physical health. This phenomenon, surprisingly, has implications for our well-being that may surpass even those of smoking, underscoring the severity of social isolation in today’s world.

The Weight of Loneliness

Loneliness transcends mere solitude, manifesting as a profound sense of disconnection, invisibility, and unsupported existence. Alarmingly, research indicates that loneliness can elevate the risk of premature death by 26%, a statistic that starkly outstrips the health hazards of smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

This stark comparison highlights the profound and often underestimated impact of loneliness on our health. Junger, in his book “Tribes,” underscores the innate human need for community and connection, suggesting that our evolutionary need for communal living is at odds with the individualistic values of modern society.

The impact of loneliness on our health extends deep into both our psychological and physical well-being, revealing a complex web of consequences that underscore the importance of social connections. Psychologically, loneliness is a potent risk factor for the development of mental health disorders, including depression, anxiety, and an increased risk of suicidality. The emotional toll of feeling disconnected can exacerbate feelings of despair and hopelessness, contributing to a cycle of emotional distress that may also accelerate cognitive decline and increase the risk of dementia in older adults.

Physiologically, the repercussions of loneliness manifest in various detrimental health outcomes, such as increased risk for cardiovascular diseases, stroke, and a weakened immune system. The stress associated with chronic loneliness can lead to elevated blood pressure and inflammation, both of which are significant risk factors for heart disease and stroke. Additionally, lonesliness can greatly impact our quality of sleep, which can have a dramatic impact on our overall health.

Behaviorally, loneliness can lead to increased substance use and physical inactivity. Individuals may turn to alcohol, drugs, or unhealthy eating habits as a form of self-medication or comfort, exacerbating health risks and potentially leading to substance abuse disorders. The lack of motivation and the absence of social activities can further contribute to a sedentary lifestyle, increasing the risk of developing chronic health conditions. The profound impacts of loneliness highlight the critical need for societal and individual efforts to foster connections, promote social well-being, and mitigate the health risks associated with this pervasive issue.

Western Society: A Breeding Ground for Isolation

Western living—with its mobile workforce, urban centers, and digital communication—is a root cause of loneliness.

As individuals move frequently for jobs, leaving behind family and established social networks, the continuity of community is disrupted. This mobility, though often seen as a sign of freedom and opportunity, can lead to a profound sense of rootlessness and disconnection.

In addition, the rise of technology and social media, while designed to connect us, often results in a paradoxical effect: we are simultaneously more connected and more isolated than ever before. The ease of digital interaction has, in many instances, replaced the messy, challenging, and deeply rewarding nature of face-to-face relationships with superficial exchanges that lack the depth and resilience of physical community ties.

Historically the identity and survival of the individual were deeply entwined with the group. This intrinsic connection fostered a sense of belonging and significance that is often missing in modern Western societies, where the pursuit of individual success can eclipse the human need for belonging and collective identity. Our evolutionary history is at odds with this modern reality and our mind and emotions haven’t yet caught up.

The erosion of traditional communal structures, such as extended families living in close proximity or community-based support systems, has also left a vacuum where loneliness can thrive. The communal bonds that once ensured not just our survival but our psychological well-being are increasingly rare.

The Path to Deeper Connection

Addressing the loneliness epidemic is, ironically, a collective endeavour. It’s a quest to forge deeper connections, drawing upon our innate need for belonging and unity. Psychologists and experts in this domain offer the following solutions:

1. Foster Early Childhood Connections: Dr. Gabor Maté emphasizes the critical importance of secure attachments in early childhood. He suggests that creating environments where children feel consistently seen, understood, and supported is fundamental to developing their ability to form healthy relationships later in life. This involves parenting and educational practices that are attuned to the emotional needs of children, promoting a sense of belonging and security.
2. Promote Emotional Literacy: Recognizing and expressing emotions in healthy ways is crucial for building connections. Our education systems and societal institutions should place a greater emphasis on emotional literacy. Teaching individuals how to identify, understand, and communicate their feelings can improve interpersonal relationships and reduce feelings of loneliness. Vulnerability is a cornerstone of deep connections. Junger’s insights into tribal cohesion suggest that being open about one’s struggles and weaknesses can engender trust and strengthen communal bonds.
3. Focus on Genuine Interactions: In a world dominated by digital communication, Maté highlights the importance of face-to-face interactions in building meaningful connections. Encouraging more genuine, in-person engagements can help alleviate the superficiality that often characterizes online interactions, fostering deeper connections.
4. Cultivate Mindfulness and Self-Compassion: Mindfulness and self-compassion are vitally important in healing from loneliness. Cultivating a mindful presence can help us reconnect with ourselves and others, while self-compassion encourages an accepting and kind attitude towards ourselves, reducing feelings of isolation.
5. Build a Community: Actively seeking or creating groups that share common interests or values can replicate the communal support characteristic of tribal societies. Junger’s portrayal of tribes as tightly-knit groups with shared purposes underscores the importance of belonging to a community where we feel necessary and valued.
6. Nurture Close Relationships: Investing in a few deep relationships can be more fulfilling than numerous superficial connections. This approach mirrors the tribal emphasis on strong, enduring bonds that provide emotional support and a sense of belonging.
7. Practice Empathy and Openness: Developing a genuine interest in the lives and experiences of others can bridge the gap between isolation and connection. This practice is reflective of tribal societies, where empathy and mutual support are integral to the community’s fabric.

The loneliness epidemic confronting Western society calls for a reevaluation of our values and a reinvigoration of our communal instincts. W need to recognize our innate need to connect and go back to fostering environments where deep, meaningful connections can flourish. In doing so, we can combat the scourge of loneliness and cultivate a society where everyone feels seen, supported, and, most importantly, connected.