Grief doesn’t always follow a straight line. It doesn’t stick to a schedule, respect your to-do list, or care how much time has passed. You might be moving through life, going to work, parenting, checking boxes, and still feel the ache like it happened yesterday. If you’ve wondered how to deal with grief that just won’t seem to loosen its grip, you’re not the only one trying to carry the weight.
The truth is: some grief doesn’t end. It changes. Softens. Integrates. But it doesn’t disappear. And that doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means your love runs deep.
Why Dealing with Grief Can Feel Endless
Grief isn’t only about death. You can grieve the end of a relationship, a job, a dream, your expectations and hopes, or even the person you used to be. Loss wears many faces. And each version of grief deserves attention.
Here are a few reasons learning how to deal with grief may feel never-ending:
1. The loss was foundational.
When someone or something shaped your identity, daily rhythm, or future, grief can feel like losing your grounding. You’re not just mourning what was — you’re mourning what will never be. You’re mourning both the past and the future all while being in the present.
2. You didn’t get a chance to process.
Maybe you had to stay strong for others. Maybe you were expected to bounce back. When grief doesn’t have space, it settles deeper.
3. Your grief is invisible to others.
When the people around you stop checking in, or never acknowledged your pain at all, the weight feels heavier. You start wondering if you’re grieving “wrong.”
4. You’re carrying unspoken layers.
Unresolved tension, complicated relationships, guilt, regret — all of these can make grief harder to move through.
5. You keep thinking, “I should be over this by now.”
This thought alone can create shame and shut down healing. There’s no expiration date for grief. Grief is not linear and it is rarely convenient.
How to Deal With Grief That Feels Never-Ending
You don’t have to “get over it” to move through it. Grief isn’t a problem to solve — it’s an experience to honour.
Let the grief exist.
Don’t rush to fix it or reframe it. Sit with it. Speak it. Let it be messy. Grief doesn’t need performance — it needs presence. Your grief is yours and yours alone, including how and when you grieve. There is no one way.
Give yourself permission to feel.
Anger. Guilt. Emptiness. Numbness. These are all part of grief, and none of them make you bad or weak. Feelings aren’t wrong — they’re human.
Anchor yourself in something steady.
When everything inside feels chaotic, small rituals help you return to the moment. Try:
- Morning check-ins with yourself
- Lighting a candle in memory
- Saying their name out loud
- Taking three slow breaths when waves rise
Write to your grief.
Letters, journal entries, even a single sentence — writing gives your emotions shape and offers a quiet release. Try prompts like:
- “What I miss most is…”
- “If I could say one more thing, it would be…”
- “What hurts the most today is…”
Stay connected to your body.
Grief can live in your chest, stomach, jaw, shoulders. Gentle movement, grounding, or breathwork can help your body feel supported while your heart heals.
Revisit joyful memories without pressure.
Laughter doesn’t erase the loss — it’s part of your humanity. Let yourself remember and feel both the joy and the pain. They coexist.
Let support in — even if it’s imperfect.
Support might not look exactly how you hoped, but allowing someone to witness your grief, sit with you, or listen without fixing can be profoundly healing. You are not a burden.
Seek therapy if the grief feels stuck.
Sometimes, grief becomes complicated. If you feel emotionally frozen, disconnected from life, or haunted by the loss, therapy can help you process, release, and breathe again. Learning how to deal with grief is a skill you and your counsellor can build together.
You’re Not Behind in Your Grief
There’s no gold star for “grieving well.” Healing doesn’t look one way. It can be slow, circular, inconsistent. Some days you may function well. Others, brushing your teeth feels impossible. That’s okay.
You’re not failing at grief. You’re living with love and loss — and doing your best to honour both.
Grief reshapes us. It doesn’t mean we forget. It means we slowly, gently, build a new world that can hold the sorrow and the love side by side. Learning how to deal with grief is an ongoing process.
Grief Counselling Support at Safe Haven Counselling in Surrey, BC
If your grief feels too heavy to carry alone, therapy can offer a space to lay it down. We work with individuals facing both fresh loss and long-held sorrow, helping them feel less buried, more grounded, and gently reconnected to life.
Safe Haven Counselling provides grief support in Surrey and White Rock, and virtual sessions across BC. Book your free consultation when you’re ready — and we’ll meet you wherever you are.
If you’re not sure how to deal with grief but you also aren’t sure if grief counselling is the answer, read our blog: Should I Seek Grief Counselling?
